Sustenance

You are my very sustenance,

nourishment of ambrosia

to my weary soul

hungry for something deeper,

something not of this world.

 

You are the breath of life

that fills my feeble lungs

with the air of joy and love

expelling the vapors

of anger and pride

 

You are the drummer

who beats out the rhythm

of my heart

with anthems of

hardships, mercy, and grace.

 

You are my eyes

that search below the surface

revealing a mysterious beauty

while the eyes of this world

only see misery and pain.

 

You are my hands

that reach out to comfort

that touch others

with warmth and love.

 

You are my tears

that flow for the pain of others

the rivers of healing

that flood

everything in my path.

 

You are my smile

that chases away

the demons of darkness

ushering in sunshine and peace.

 

You are my sustenance,

my very life.

You are my hope.

You are the purpose

of those looking for meaning.

Learning to Keep Hydrated

I spent too many nights

rushing to fill up

the buckets of others

with precious water

sacred water

from my own well

thinking I had

an unlimited source

never once checking

the levels

of my own saturation.

 

A drought came.

The water in my well

was no more.

I could no longer

fill the bucket of others

when all I could gather

were handfuls of shells.

 

I was giving away

but wasn’t replenishing

the sacred reserves

entrusted to me.

I didn’t even drink

the rain

so graciously

poured down upon me.

 

So I boarded up my well.

I was out of commission

for I couldn’t give

the parched

a drop

while I was in transition.

 

I went to the sacred fount

and guzzled down

enormous amounts

of Living Water

that dribbled down my face

into the empty spaces.

I was too hesitant

to even wipe my mouth

greedy for not even

one drop

to be erased.

 

Now my reservoir

overflows with abundance

of hope

of joy

of love

that I must not

keep to myself.

 

I will stand guard

and keep on duty

for I must always

be taking in

more than I give out.

I must suction it in

on a daily basis.

 

So come now

and drink from my well

if yours is dry.

Let me pour you

a cup of water

for my water

is not my own.

Psalm 50 (51)

Sprinkle me with hyssop,

and I shall be made clean.*

Let the droplets of water

linger on my skin

and sink slowly into my soul

and purge the darkness within.

 

Wash me,

and I shall be made whiter than snow.

Purify all of me,

my actions

my thoughts

my intentions.

 

Create in me a clean heart, O God,

and renew a right spirit within me.

Give me the desire

for Your purity.

Help me to guard

my eyes

my ears

my body

from temptations that sully me.

 

Cast me not away from Thy presence,

and take not Thy Holy Spirit from me.

But hold me tightly

against Your chest, my Beloved,

so that our hearts

may beat as One.

 

O Lord, Thou shalt open my lips,

and my mouth shall declare Thy praise.

May my joy of Your love, Your mercy

be always present

in my laughter

in my tears

and on my tongue.

 

A sacrifice unto God is a broken spirit;

a heart that  is broken and humbled God will not despise.

My Beloved, may my heart

break with Yours.

May Your tears

be my tears.

 

*The bold italicized words are part of the original Psalm 50 (Septuagint)  from the Bible

 

My Soul Quivers with Delight

My soul quivers with delight.

It bursts with gratitude

that I have been given

this sacred gift of life.

 

My breath rises and falls

with the heartbeat of my Beloved

and I desire Him

more than raging rivers

yearn to flow into the ocean

more than the sun

aches for a new dawn

to shed its rays of light.

 

And my Beloved is teaching me

what love really is.

Love truly is

a joyful sorrow.

I am learning that love

true love

is a sacrifice of myself

with no expectations

of anything in return.

Solemn Vow

And now, today at this very hour,

I make this solemn vow

to myself,

the one of whom I used to be ashamed,

the one whom I hid from

while looking in the mirror,

the one who would always take on the blame

for the misdeeds of others.

 

And now, today at this very hour,

I make this solemn vow

to myself,

my beautiful, sacred, lovely self,

the one whom I cherish

whom I guard,

the one who

is precious in the sight of the Lord.

 

Never again

will I sacrifice

my hopes, my dreams,

my very self

on a funeral pyre

to appease

those who believe

I am unworthy.

 

Never again

will I debase myself

and compromise all I believe

just to fit in

to be accepted

to be loved

by others

who only want to use me

abuse me

and then abandon me

when there is nothing

left in me

to give.

 

 

 

 

Never again

will I

let the words of self-hatred

form upon my lips

nor let the poison of unbelief

creep into my soul.

 

I will honor this temple

of the Lord.

I will beautify

my gardens

and feed those

whom come my way

with the fruit

of His love.

 

For I am

a vessel of His love

a cup of His cool water

to those who thirst.

 

I am a blanket of His comfort

to those who mourn,

a pillar of His strength

for those who lack faith,

a song of His joy

for those who have lost

the music of life.

 

The Awakening

Rise,

Uncurl your body and stand erect.

Dust off

the injustices

of the past

and put on forgiveness.

Let your knees extend.

Steady your wobbly legs

and plant your feet

firmly on the ground.

May they be pillars

of strength and grace.

 

Uncover your face

and remove your hands.

Let not the veil of fear and shame

shroud the lights of mercy.

 

For the time of lamentations has passed.

The season of mourning has been lifted.

Shed your garments of black.

Array yourself in ribbons of color.

 

Cast away the stones

that made your heart heavy.

Breathe in the air of joy,

let your anxieties

float away

like vapor on the wind.

 

For the time of feasting has arrived.

Come to the table

for the King has desired your restoration

and He delights in your beauty.