Untouchable

And Gandhi spoke

of the bhangis  and chamars

those of the harijan

the low caste,

the untouchables,

the sweepers and cleaners of the latrines

those who had to announce

their presence

lest they bump into others

and defile them,

making them unclean

 

A large part of my life,

I felt like the untouchables

growing up poor

being the brunt of jokes

an outcast among my peers,

no one to call buddy

no one to call friend.

 

As I got older,

the self-deprecating mentality

of the untouchable

never quite left me.

I had been branded with guilt

and baptized with fear,

always making excuses

for situations I didn’t create.

 

When the abuse

came pouring in like rain,

it was always my fault

because I didn’t hold up the sun

with one hand

and chase away the clouds

with the other.

 

Gandhi preached

the elimination of the untouchable class

demanding that the veil be lifted

and that this blight on Indian civilization

be destroyed.

 

 

And I am learning how to ban

the thoughts of inferiority

from my mind.

I am rooting out

the weeds of shame

and planting the seeds

of self-love

of self-respect.

 

I have cut out

the cataracts of my soul

which saw everything as cloudy

making the truth unclear.

 

I am not an untouchable,

someone to avoid.

 

I am an amazing woman

with massive ability

to love

and be loved.