As I was riding home from work on the bus, the rain was pelting the window. As the droplets cascaded down the glass, I was filled with a sense of awe and wonderment and a sense of complete gratefulness.
Sometimes it is hard to believe all that has happened to me in the past 7 months. I have developed a sense of confidence that I never knew that I could possess. I believe in myself. I have goals and actively pursue them. Tomorrow will be four weeks since I started my new job, a job that has great potential for growth and stimulates me.
I have more control over my emotions and little things don’t send me over the edge. For example, I left my office at work to get some water from the water cooler and accidentally locked myself out of my office. I usually take my keys with me but I didn’t this time, and the door closed behind me unexpectantly.
The old me would have panicked and been besieged with anxiety. I would have thrown a fit. Not today. I just smiled, took a deep breath, and said a little prayer. I always say the Jesus Prayer (Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner) when I am tempted to get frustrated. I actually thought clearly and went down stairs to the department below me and called security. They, of course, took 25 minutes to show up. The old me would have been so livid. I actually sat down calmly and read an article in a magazine until the came. What a change! This is so unlike the old me.
I also find that I am not as lonely any more when I am by myself. I find ways to constructively fill my time and don’t have that horrible feeling of worthlessness and the feeling like there is nobody there for me in this world.
I feel at peace and know that my Higher Power has great plans for me that I can’t even image. There is meaning and purpose to my life.
Operation Meaning 
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