Psalm 50 (51)

Sprinkle me with hyssop,

and I shall be made clean.*

Let the droplets of water

linger on my skin

and sink slowly into my soul

and purge the darkness within.

 

Wash me,

and I shall be made whiter than snow.

Purify all of me,

my actions

my thoughts

my intentions.

 

Create in me a clean heart, O God,

and renew a right spirit within me.

Give me the desire

for Your purity.

Help me to guard

my eyes

my ears

my body

from temptations that sully me.

 

Cast me not away from Thy presence,

and take not Thy Holy Spirit from me.

But hold me tightly

against Your chest, my Beloved,

so that our hearts

may beat as One.

 

O Lord, Thou shalt open my lips,

and my mouth shall declare Thy praise.

May my joy of Your love, Your mercy

be always present

in my laughter

in my tears

and on my tongue.

 

A sacrifice unto God is a broken spirit;

a heart that  is broken and humbled God will not despise.

My Beloved, may my heart

break with Yours.

May Your tears

be my tears.

 

*The bold italicized words are part of the original Psalm 50 (Septuagint)  from the Bible

 

My Soul Quivers with Delight

My soul quivers with delight.

It bursts with gratitude

that I have been given

this sacred gift of life.

 

My breath rises and falls

with the heartbeat of my Beloved

and I desire Him

more than raging rivers

yearn to flow into the ocean

more than the sun

aches for a new dawn

to shed its rays of light.

 

And my Beloved is teaching me

what love really is.

Love truly is

a joyful sorrow.

I am learning that love

true love

is a sacrifice of myself

with no expectations

of anything in return.

I Thirst

I thirst.

My throat is dry.

I am parched.

I need to satiate

my soul,

the core of

who I am.

 

But I refuse to drink

from stagnant ponds

and from cups

or bowls

or basins

or even buckets

for that matter

if the source

is not flowing

with living waters.

 

I need gushing

rivers

streams

fountains.

I need

rapids and waves

to blast away

complacency and indecision.

 

But what I need most

is to nourish my soul

by drinking the tears

of my lonely

hurt

angry

needy

hungry

neighbors

who need to feast on my love.

 

My Beloved,

lead me to the wells

that are deeper

than I can imagine.

Show me how

to love with sacrifice

so that I might

quench this thirst

of my soul.

Solemn Vow

And now, today at this very hour,

I make this solemn vow

to myself,

the one of whom I used to be ashamed,

the one whom I hid from

while looking in the mirror,

the one who would always take on the blame

for the misdeeds of others.

 

And now, today at this very hour,

I make this solemn vow

to myself,

my beautiful, sacred, lovely self,

the one whom I cherish

whom I guard,

the one who

is precious in the sight of the Lord.

 

Never again

will I sacrifice

my hopes, my dreams,

my very self

on a funeral pyre

to appease

those who believe

I am unworthy.

 

Never again

will I debase myself

and compromise all I believe

just to fit in

to be accepted

to be loved

by others

who only want to use me

abuse me

and then abandon me

when there is nothing

left in me

to give.

 

 

 

 

Never again

will I

let the words of self-hatred

form upon my lips

nor let the poison of unbelief

creep into my soul.

 

I will honor this temple

of the Lord.

I will beautify

my gardens

and feed those

whom come my way

with the fruit

of His love.

 

For I am

a vessel of His love

a cup of His cool water

to those who thirst.

 

I am a blanket of His comfort

to those who mourn,

a pillar of His strength

for those who lack faith,

a song of His joy

for those who have lost

the music of life.