Lost

Today, I found it
stuck under the table
next to discarded gum
that had lost its taste.

Yesterday, I found it
in the bottom
of the garbage
stomped on
and stained.

Last week, I found it
abandoned in the attic
cast away
for the next
generation to find.

Last month, I found it
under my bed
swept into a hidden place
out of carelessness.

Last year, I found it
buried in the trunk of my car
placed there with thought
but forgotten over time.

What we long for most,
search for most,
ache for most,
is everywhere present
and fillest all things.

Where will you find
your abandoned Hope today?

Praise the Lord for Life

I know it seems that I have probably evaporated from the blogging world, but this past month has been quite dramatic.

On October 3, my dad had to be helicoptered to Vanderbilt Medical Center for a heart condition.  Three years ago, my dad went into convulsion and had to be helicoptered to Vanderbilt. The main diagnosis was a dissected aorta. This basically means that the aorta was splitting and separating from his heart. He had to have a 10 1/2 hr emergency surgery to save his life. He had the aorta valve replaced and had to have parts of the aorta removed and replaced with another material. High bood pressure for over 25 years contributed to this, even though it was thought to have been well controlled.

This time around there was a couple of aneurysms and still an aorta that continues to dissect. He stayed in the hospital a week before the surgery this time for he was stable enough to give the doctors time to do tests and plan.

The plan was to have 3 teams of surgeons to work on him and for the surgery to be around 12 hrs. However, after 3 hours into the surgery, we were told by the surgeon that the surgery was finished.  He explained that they couldn’t do the surgery that they had wanted to do. What that did was good enough and would save his life.

When they opened him up, his aorta was so dissected and so full of scar tissue from the last surgery that there was no where to put the heart and lung machine, so obviously they couldn’t do the full operation. They built a tent out of a tough synthetic fabric called Decron (sp?).  They encased his heart in it and even if the aneurysms burst, he will not die.

My Dad stayed a  week in the hospital after his surgery.  He is on around 13 pills.  The doctors don’t want the top number of his blood pressure to go above 100 because to do so will cause the aorta to dissect further. So far, this hasn’t been  a success and will need constant adjustments of his medicines.

This blog was not meant to be an indepth report on what has happened. If you want that, please visit my mom’s blog at www.nichole3.wordpress.com    She has written a series of posts on all that has happened.

But I want to praise the Lord for the life of my father.  Also, it is important to be thankful for the Lord’s wonderful orchestration of my life. I was bummed this time last year when I found out that I was being layed off from my job. However, as soon as I found that out, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer so I moved home to help take care of her and the household.  However, my mom quickly bounced back and I was feeling a little depressed about still living at home with my parents. But now I know that God orchestratred my being home on purpose. My parents are relieved that I am at home now so that I can help them through this transition period.

God’s ways are not our ways and we must accept that His plans are much better than our plans could ever be.

Glory to the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit.