Holy Week ‘08

I can’t believe it, but Holy Week is finally here.  In the Orthodox Church, the week before Pascha (Easter) is called Holy Week and each day has a distinct purpose and service.  In fact, if you add up all of the services of Holy Week, it ends up being of a total of more than 25 hours. 

I am a little sad.  I haven’t been able to truly experience Holy Week this year.  I currently live over 100 miles away from my Church and there really aren’t any other Orthodox Churches much closer to me. My family and I attend every Sunday, but there is no way that we can go to all of the services of Holy Week.

This is only my 3rd Pascha as an Orthodox Christian and the first year, my church didn’t have all of the Holy Week services because we didn’t have a full time priest. So last year was my only real experience of a full Holy Week.

During Holy Week, we live in real time of the gospels and walk with Christ every moment until resurrection.  Holy Friday, which is tomorrow, is my favorite day of all.  There are three long services.  There is Royal hours where we keep vigil with Christ on the cross.  Then before the next service, the children of the church decorate Christ’s funeral bier with flowers.  Then there is the burial service when we take Christ off the cross and put him in the funeral bier and march around the outside of the church.  Then in the evening there is a Lamentations service. The funeral bier is in the center of the church and many Psalms and laments for the crucified Christ are read. This can go as long as 3 hours, but the whole church is dark and lit only with candle light, and we focus on lamenting the death of Christ.  There is even a vigil and the Psalms are read over His body every hour until the service the next morning. Parishoners sign up to read the Psalms by the hour.  Supposedly when an Orthodox person person dies, their body is brought into the church and Psalms are read over the body all night. However, I have never been part of an Orthodox funeral and don’t know exactly how it is done.

There are many services on Saturday.  Then the matins for Pascha starts at 10:30 pm. We have our Pascha Divine Liturgy around 12:00 am. This will last for a couple of hours.  Around 2:00 am we will have a huge feast of all kinds of meat and dairy items since we have been abstaining from them for almost 60 days.

My family will get to go to the Pascha services Saturday night.  By the time everything finishes up, it will be around 3:00 am. Then we will have to drive 2 hrs home. Maybe we will sleep on someone’s floor for a couple of hours.

I am sad, but happy that I will get to go to Pascha. This certainly has been a trying Lent and I have learned so much. I have also failed in many ways, but it is important to find out my weak areas.

May the Lord bless all of you my dear readers and my prayers will be with you.

Unhindered

The streets outside
fill with a sweet, musty, smell
as the rain pelts the pavement
causing the children to
run out from their small houses
into the cemented streets
eager to catch
the dashing drops
that tingle
their outstretched tongues.

Heads roll back
and laughter erupts
and squeals of delight escape
from tiny, wriggling, bodies
swaying to the rhythm of the rain
that renders
their souls free
and their spirits
unhindered.

 

Great Lent (‘08), III

Sometimes we fool ourselves. We fool ourselves into believeing that we don’t have problems in a certain area.  We are joyful.  We find oursevles calm.  But we never really know what lies beneath. We never really know what passions are hidden deep inside ourselves.

Great Lent is a time for digging. For discovering what is underneath and laying it aside. However, often during lent, one doesn’t really have to work at digging.  For some reason, things seem to errupt.  Lately, it seems like my heart has been lying on earthquake fault that has been dormant for quite a time but has suddenly become active.

For the past several weeks, we have had major problems with our internet service provider for various reasons. There has been several days when we have had not internet at all.  Then when we did have it, it would either be slow as a slug or very sporadic. (off 3 hrs, on for a few hrs, off for several more hours.)

I had a reason to be frustrated. There is nothing wrong with frustration.  However, this deep dark anger swelled up inside of me. I found my self seething and fuming. If you know me, this is very much unlike me.  I don’t get angry often, and when I do,  it doesn’t last very long.

The anger that welled up inside of me over something that to most of the world is so trivial bothered me.  I never knew a volcano of unerupted anger was inside of me. 

Another thing the jerked my world is a selfishness that has come over me.  Recently I watched, “Idol Gives Back.”  They showed so many videos of children starving and dying not only in countries like Africa but also in America as well.  I guees I never really understood how tragic and devastating Hurricane Katrina really was.  You would think that after watching something like this that I would be filled with compassion.  On the contrary, the opposite was occuring.  The passion of self-centeredness burst forth.  I often got upset when seeing material things that I couldn’t have.  This is also unlike me.  If you know me, then you would know that I am not a very materialistic person at all.

Great Lent is indeed a battlefield. It is something that helps us to work out our salvation with fear and trembling like St. Paul says.

With weariness and joy, I look forward to Pascha when we celebrate the true sacrificial Lamb.

Romania, here I come

When I visited The Orthodox Monastery of the Transfiguration at the end of February, the Lord really touched my heart in many ways.  While I was there, I felt a constant link to Eastern Europe, and I knew that I was to return there for mission work.

 I have done previous mission work in Ukraine in the summer of ‘99 and from August 2001-June 2002.  However, I was a Protestant missionary.  At the time, I was not acquainted with the Orthodox faith. Since then Eastern Europe has always captured my mind and my heart.  That love and desire for the people of Eastern Europe has grown even more since I have become Orthodox because most of the countries in Eastern Europe are Orthodox countries.

 While still at the monastery, I contacted my priest with my desire to go back to Eastern Europe to do mission work.  After I came back, we came to the conclusion that I needed to fill out an application with the Orthodox Christian Mission Center (OCMC).  The OCMC is the official mission and evangelism agency of the Standing Conference of Canonical Orthodox Bishops in the Americas (SCOBA). I filled out an application with the OCMC and was accepted to go on a summer mission trip to Romania. The fact that I am going to Romania has significance.  The Orthodox Monastery of the Transfiguration was found by Mother Alexandria (now deceased).  Mother Alexandria was formerly known as the Princess of Romania, Ileana.  She and her family were forced out of Romania by the Communists.

 I will be gone July 16-August 9.  The first few days will be spent in St. Augustine, FL at the OCMC headquarters.  To go on this trip, I need to raise approximately $4,000.  I need to have all of the money raised 3 weeks before my departure date.

 During the trip, my teammates and I will be working at two youth camps for Orthodox teenagers.  I will be teaching some English, but I will also be teaching some about the Orthodox faith. I am sure that we will also be involved in the normal summer camp activities such as crafts and sports.

 I would appreciate your prayers for my trip. If you feel led to contribute to my trip in any way, please e-mail me at oilofgladness2004@yahoo.com and I will let you know the specifics on how you can donate.

 

Great Lent (‘08), Part II

  There are those who may think that Great Lent is nothing but works and that it is full of nothing but tradition.  I do not doubt that there are many who make these thoughts true. However, when done correctly it can be and should be a great awakening within one’s soul to evaluate where they’re at spiritually and to continue to stay on the narrow path.The strict rules of Great Lent are not to be done legalistically just for the sake of it. The Pharisees kept the traditions as perfectly as humanly possible but even Jesus told them that they had missed the spirit of the law which is love and mercy.  I think it was St. John Chrysostom who said something like, “What good is it to keep the fast but devour your brother?”

One prayer that keeps me on track during Great Lent is the prayer of St. Ephraim the Syrian.  This prayer is said during many of the Lenten services and is encouraged to be read often individually during Lent.  Here is the prayer.

Oh Lord and Master of my life
do not give me a spirit
of sloth, despair, lust of power and idle talk.
But give rather a spirit
of chastity, humility, patience and love to your servant.
Yes, Lord and King,
grant me to see
my own transgressions
and not to judge my brother.
For blessed are You unto ages of ages, amen.

The part that gets me all the time is “grant me to see my own transgression and not to judge my brother.”

It is so hard for me not to judge others. In some ways, I have a critical personality and it is not hard for me to puff myself up and think that I am better than others.  I am often judged by others (or least I perceive it that way) and I hate it.  I must be careful because the measure that I judge others by is what I will be judged by.

Since becoming Orthodox, my mindset has slowly changed and now I can’t understand the people who think the way that I used to think.  It is hard for me to imagine that I ever thought like an Evangelical Christian. (Well, I do have to admit that there is still a lot of Evangelical framework by which I process things. A lifetime of conditioning doesn’t go away right away.)

The hardest thing for me is not to judge people’s motives when displaying Christian merchandise.  To me, Evangelical Christianity focuses too much on fads.  All of the bracelets, t-shirts, etc really rub me the wrong way.  In my tainted opinion, it cheapens Christianity and makes Christ a commodity. Silly slogans sometimes take the sacredness away.  I actually saw a t-shirt with the words “Got Jesus?” printed in bold letters. (This is, of course, taken from the “Got Milk?” campaign.) Underneath this phrase in parentheses was “it’s hell without Him.” 

I also have a problem with cheesy Christian songs that make Christianity seem so shallow.  Last night, I was watching American Idol. It was Dolly Parton week.  Dolly Parton sang her new song called “Jesus and Gravity.” It made me cringe. 

I am writing all of this not to condemn Evangelical Christianity but to open my eyes to my transgressions.  Like St. Paul said, I should be excited to see the Gospel of Jesus Christ preached no matter how it is presented.

In the Orthodox Church, we say a special prayer before the Eucharist (communion). The first part of it says, “I believe, O Lord, and I confess that You are truly the Christ, the Son of the living God Who came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.”

At first I couldn’t really understand this prayer. I would say this prayer, but I wasn’t quite comfortable saying “of whom I am chief.”   I mean, compared to other people I was certainly not the chief of sinners. How could I be? There are murders and rapists out there. I am definitely not that sinful.

But, you see, I was looking at it from the wrong perspective.  I am not to compare myself to anyone nor am I to compare anyone else to me. This reference about being the chief of sinners is not a comparison of whose sin is greater than mine. I am the chief of sinners because I have not used faithfully all that God has given me and have not lived up to all that I have learned and have declared as truth.

Once again, this post was not to blast any certain group of people but to become aware of the transgressions within my own soul.

May the Lord purge this spirit of judgmentalness from my soul and replace it with Love for all people!